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The Woman On The Train
by Jonathan Elmore
Copyright © 2009 by Jonathan Elmore
Approximate Running Time: 10 Minutes
Early morning on a commuter train car. REBECCA sits stage left reading a mass market paperback. There is an empty chair beside her. MICHAEL sits behind her and stage right with a briefcase.
MICHAEL: (looks out window, checks watch, looks around at other passengers. To audience) Wednesday. We’re in the middle of another week and I haven’t spoken to her…again. How could I? I’m little Mikey from 83rd Street with the self esteem issues. She’s…a goddess from…Goddess land. I ride this train every day. Well, every week day. My work and I (holds up briefcase) make it to the train by 6:30 a.m. We board and I see her. She’s already sitting and reading. The girl on the train with the (actress’s hair color) hair. I sit a little behind her and to the side so I can see her. I feel like a stalker sometimes, but I don’t necessarily have those kinds of obsessive feelings toward her. I’m just intrigued by her, I guess. I don’t know. I know she’s beautiful and she gets on the train before I do. I can’t tell what she reads, but she’s always got a book in her hand. They’re those little paperbacks that you could lose and not feel terrible about it. I have weird fantasies about her, not really sexual – well, I should say not always sexual – but intense fantasies. I imagine her name is Rebecca. Not Becky or Becca…Rebecca…Rebecca that gets off at the same stop that I do. I love to say her name…or what I imagine her name is. My fantasies of her are…eh, I’ll show you. Here’s one.
(MICHEAL stands, moves to REBECCA and sits next to her. To Rebecca, shyly) I like books. I can tell you’re smart. (To audience) Wait…let me start that over. (MICHAEL backs up to his seat and moves to her again. To Rebecca, overly confident) Those little books kick ass! (Appalled) Oh, that was even worse that the first one. (MICHAEL shakes his head, backs up and moves to her again, sits beside her. Long pause. He turns to her. To Rebecca) I want you to have my babies.
REBECCA: (turns and grabs the front of MICHAEL’s shirt) I want nothing more than to have your babies.
REBECCA kisses MICHAEL, she stops abruptly and goes back to reading.
MICHAEL: (To audience) So, that’s one fantasy. Not sure what it means. I’m not exactly in a good place to have babies in my life, but the thought of being with her and making babies makes me feel…I don’t know…virile, I guess. (Pause) Oh! Here’s another one. (To Rebecca) I’d like you to come away with me for the weekend.
REBECCA: (stops reading) And what would make me want to come away with you?
MICHAEL: My cabin in the Adirondacks, my Ferrari, and my ample manhood.
REBECCA: That’s all I needed to hear, baby.
REBECCA kisses MICHAEL like before, she stops abruptly and goes back to reading.
MICHAEL: (To audience, Sighs) That’s how they always end…my fantasies. She agrees that we need to be together and she kisses me. My brain hasn’t moved beyond that point yet. Maybe it’s because I can’t even get enough courage to introduce myself. Y’know…the whole low self esteem thing.
MICHAEL: (moves back to his original seat) I almost did get to introduce myself late last year. Something fell on the tracks and stopped the train for about twenty minutes.
REBECCA: (stops reading. To another passenger) Did anyone hear what was going on?
MICHAEL: (To audience) My heart leaped at the sound of her voice. Did she just ask me a question? No, she asked everybody a question. I could answer her question and she would notice me and want me to take her to the Adirondacks. It’s the perfect way to introduce myself.
REBECCA: Oh, it was a lounge chair? (Laughs) That’s a weird thing to find on train tracks. (She goes back to reading)
MICHAEL: (To audience) Crap! Someone else answered her question. I missed my chance. (Pause, smiles) I did get to hear her laugh though. That was nice. (looks out the window) We’re still a few miles from our stop. I say OUR stop like we get off the train together. Truth is, we exit, she goes north and I go south. She’s usually dressed somewhere between business professional and artist, so I’m guessing she works in one of those boutiques down by Fountain Square. I keep meaning to wander down there at lunch and see if I can find her. I never do. (Pause) Oh, I’ve got a great fantasy of mine.
MICHAEL: (moves to and sits beside her. To Rebecca) It was so great that I met you on this train last year. I can’t imagine my life without you around.
REBECCA: I know what you mean. If that lounge chair hadn’t been on the tracks, I may have never looked up from my book. (She touches his hair)
You’re so amazing.
MICHAEL: Thanks. I think you’re pretty terrific too.
REBECCA: Did you remember to call your mom and tell her we couldn’t make it for Easter dinner?
MICHAEL: I did. I told her that we had to go see your dad in the hospital. She said she understood and not to worry about it.
REBECCA: Good. I can’t believe dad’s going in for brain surgery. That’s like something you hear on a soap opera.
MICHAEL: I know. He’s being a trooper though. I’d hate to have to deal with that all by myself.
REBECCA: Well, you’ve been a wonderful companion for him since mom died. I’m amazed that you take him to ballgames on the weekends that I have to work.
MICHAEL: Well, I know he’s a sports fan and a huge part of your life. I want to make you happy. And I enjoy taking him places. He’s a crack up.
REBECCA: Does he tell you all of his dirty jokes?
MICHAEL:Oh, yeah. My ears are going to hell for sure. Hey, when we get home, we should order in some Chinese.
REBECCA: Oh, the girls and I were going to do that for lunch. We could get a pizza from Geno’s.
MICHAEL: Even better. I forget about that place.
REBECCA: We’ll order the pizza and take our wonderful bulldog Rosie for a walk to the park and back. That should kill some time while they’re making our pizza.
MICHAEL: You always know the best things to do. I love you.
REBECCA: I love you too, Michael.
They kiss, stop abruptly and she goes back to reading.
MICHEAL: (turns away from her, Sadly) Sometimes my fantasies are…too much.
MICHAEL goes back to his seat and stares out the window. After a long pause, REBECCA stops reading, looks out the window, and gets up. She heads to the front of the car to exit and notices Michael still seated.
REBECCA: Hey, you OK? (MICHAEL continues to stare. She goes to him and shakes his shoulder. He snaps out of his stare.) You all right?
MICHAEL: (confused) Yeah…uh…I don’t…
REBECCA: It’s our stop. I’ve noticed we always get off at the same stop, so I didn’t want you to miss it. I’m Rebecca. (She extends a handshake)
MICHAEL: Really!? Uh…I’m Michael. (He shakes her hand) Nice to meet you.
REBECCA: (Smiling) We should go. They’re going to close the doors.
MICHEAL: Oh, right!
MICHAEL gets up while REBECCA moves to the exit
REBECCA: I’ve seen you on the train a lot. We should sit together on the way home tonight.
MICHAEL: Really? That would be great. I could bring us some dinner or something.
REBECCA: (turns to look at him) You know, that sounds really good. You should get us a pizza. I like pepperoni. (She flirtingly flips his tie)
MICHAEL: (Amazed stage whisper) Me too! (REBECCA exits. MICHAEL to audience) Wow! What just happened there? I have a dinner date with Rebecca - her real name by the way, thank you very much. A date with a beautiful girl on an evening train heading for home. I’m not sure that I could have fantasized that. It’s brilliant. (He checks his watch) Oh! I only have eight hours to find a good pizza.
MICHAEL Exits
Blackout
Copyright © 2009 by Jonathan Elmore
by Jonathan Elmore
Copyright © 2009 by Jonathan Elmore
Approximate Running Time: 10 Minutes
Early morning on a commuter train car. REBECCA sits stage left reading a mass market paperback. There is an empty chair beside her. MICHAEL sits behind her and stage right with a briefcase.
MICHAEL: (looks out window, checks watch, looks around at other passengers. To audience) Wednesday. We’re in the middle of another week and I haven’t spoken to her…again. How could I? I’m little Mikey from 83rd Street with the self esteem issues. She’s…a goddess from…Goddess land. I ride this train every day. Well, every week day. My work and I (holds up briefcase) make it to the train by 6:30 a.m. We board and I see her. She’s already sitting and reading. The girl on the train with the (actress’s hair color) hair. I sit a little behind her and to the side so I can see her. I feel like a stalker sometimes, but I don’t necessarily have those kinds of obsessive feelings toward her. I’m just intrigued by her, I guess. I don’t know. I know she’s beautiful and she gets on the train before I do. I can’t tell what she reads, but she’s always got a book in her hand. They’re those little paperbacks that you could lose and not feel terrible about it. I have weird fantasies about her, not really sexual – well, I should say not always sexual – but intense fantasies. I imagine her name is Rebecca. Not Becky or Becca…Rebecca…Rebecca that gets off at the same stop that I do. I love to say her name…or what I imagine her name is. My fantasies of her are…eh, I’ll show you. Here’s one.
(MICHEAL stands, moves to REBECCA and sits next to her. To Rebecca, shyly) I like books. I can tell you’re smart. (To audience) Wait…let me start that over. (MICHAEL backs up to his seat and moves to her again. To Rebecca, overly confident) Those little books kick ass! (Appalled) Oh, that was even worse that the first one. (MICHAEL shakes his head, backs up and moves to her again, sits beside her. Long pause. He turns to her. To Rebecca) I want you to have my babies.
REBECCA: (turns and grabs the front of MICHAEL’s shirt) I want nothing more than to have your babies.
REBECCA kisses MICHAEL, she stops abruptly and goes back to reading.
MICHAEL: (To audience) So, that’s one fantasy. Not sure what it means. I’m not exactly in a good place to have babies in my life, but the thought of being with her and making babies makes me feel…I don’t know…virile, I guess. (Pause) Oh! Here’s another one. (To Rebecca) I’d like you to come away with me for the weekend.
REBECCA: (stops reading) And what would make me want to come away with you?
MICHAEL: My cabin in the Adirondacks, my Ferrari, and my ample manhood.
REBECCA: That’s all I needed to hear, baby.
REBECCA kisses MICHAEL like before, she stops abruptly and goes back to reading.
MICHAEL: (To audience, Sighs) That’s how they always end…my fantasies. She agrees that we need to be together and she kisses me. My brain hasn’t moved beyond that point yet. Maybe it’s because I can’t even get enough courage to introduce myself. Y’know…the whole low self esteem thing.
MICHAEL: (moves back to his original seat) I almost did get to introduce myself late last year. Something fell on the tracks and stopped the train for about twenty minutes.
REBECCA: (stops reading. To another passenger) Did anyone hear what was going on?
MICHAEL: (To audience) My heart leaped at the sound of her voice. Did she just ask me a question? No, she asked everybody a question. I could answer her question and she would notice me and want me to take her to the Adirondacks. It’s the perfect way to introduce myself.
REBECCA: Oh, it was a lounge chair? (Laughs) That’s a weird thing to find on train tracks. (She goes back to reading)
MICHAEL: (To audience) Crap! Someone else answered her question. I missed my chance. (Pause, smiles) I did get to hear her laugh though. That was nice. (looks out the window) We’re still a few miles from our stop. I say OUR stop like we get off the train together. Truth is, we exit, she goes north and I go south. She’s usually dressed somewhere between business professional and artist, so I’m guessing she works in one of those boutiques down by Fountain Square. I keep meaning to wander down there at lunch and see if I can find her. I never do. (Pause) Oh, I’ve got a great fantasy of mine.
MICHAEL: (moves to and sits beside her. To Rebecca) It was so great that I met you on this train last year. I can’t imagine my life without you around.
REBECCA: I know what you mean. If that lounge chair hadn’t been on the tracks, I may have never looked up from my book. (She touches his hair)
You’re so amazing.
MICHAEL: Thanks. I think you’re pretty terrific too.
REBECCA: Did you remember to call your mom and tell her we couldn’t make it for Easter dinner?
MICHAEL: I did. I told her that we had to go see your dad in the hospital. She said she understood and not to worry about it.
REBECCA: Good. I can’t believe dad’s going in for brain surgery. That’s like something you hear on a soap opera.
MICHAEL: I know. He’s being a trooper though. I’d hate to have to deal with that all by myself.
REBECCA: Well, you’ve been a wonderful companion for him since mom died. I’m amazed that you take him to ballgames on the weekends that I have to work.
MICHAEL: Well, I know he’s a sports fan and a huge part of your life. I want to make you happy. And I enjoy taking him places. He’s a crack up.
REBECCA: Does he tell you all of his dirty jokes?
MICHAEL:Oh, yeah. My ears are going to hell for sure. Hey, when we get home, we should order in some Chinese.
REBECCA: Oh, the girls and I were going to do that for lunch. We could get a pizza from Geno’s.
MICHAEL: Even better. I forget about that place.
REBECCA: We’ll order the pizza and take our wonderful bulldog Rosie for a walk to the park and back. That should kill some time while they’re making our pizza.
MICHAEL: You always know the best things to do. I love you.
REBECCA: I love you too, Michael.
They kiss, stop abruptly and she goes back to reading.
MICHEAL: (turns away from her, Sadly) Sometimes my fantasies are…too much.
MICHAEL goes back to his seat and stares out the window. After a long pause, REBECCA stops reading, looks out the window, and gets up. She heads to the front of the car to exit and notices Michael still seated.
REBECCA: Hey, you OK? (MICHAEL continues to stare. She goes to him and shakes his shoulder. He snaps out of his stare.) You all right?
MICHAEL: (confused) Yeah…uh…I don’t…
REBECCA: It’s our stop. I’ve noticed we always get off at the same stop, so I didn’t want you to miss it. I’m Rebecca. (She extends a handshake)
MICHAEL: Really!? Uh…I’m Michael. (He shakes her hand) Nice to meet you.
REBECCA: (Smiling) We should go. They’re going to close the doors.
MICHEAL: Oh, right!
MICHAEL gets up while REBECCA moves to the exit
REBECCA: I’ve seen you on the train a lot. We should sit together on the way home tonight.
MICHAEL: Really? That would be great. I could bring us some dinner or something.
REBECCA: (turns to look at him) You know, that sounds really good. You should get us a pizza. I like pepperoni. (She flirtingly flips his tie)
MICHAEL: (Amazed stage whisper) Me too! (REBECCA exits. MICHAEL to audience) Wow! What just happened there? I have a dinner date with Rebecca - her real name by the way, thank you very much. A date with a beautiful girl on an evening train heading for home. I’m not sure that I could have fantasized that. It’s brilliant. (He checks his watch) Oh! I only have eight hours to find a good pizza.
MICHAEL Exits
Blackout
Copyright © 2009 by Jonathan Elmore