I'm pretty sure it was Jim Morrison that said that. I have to agree. Depression can lead a scattered mind to calm down enough to get some profound thoughts out of your head. I know some people get songs and poetry out of a bout of blue. I usually get some kind of writing out of it. I get depressed a lot, but I'm a good actor so, most of the time, I can convince strangers and people I barely know that the world is hunky dory. But when the lows hit me, I just accept it and ride it out. I don't take pills or drink alcohol. You shouldn't drink a depressant when you're depressed anyway. That's just asking for trouble. Taking pills isn't for me, but I understand that it gets really bad for some people and they need a chemical ladder to get back up. I don't think less of those people and neither should you. You and I don't live inside their heads. One of my favorite musicians is Justin Furstenfeld from the band Blue October. He's been on Paxil since he was a teenager. He said, "It kind of shaped my personality and shit." Without that drug, he might not be here today and I wouldn't have hours of music from him to enjoy.
The problem with me and depression is that anything can trigger it at any time. I can be listening to The Aquabats, jumping around to some great ska music and my brain says, "Alright buddy, that's quite enough of that." Something like the thought of a stupid thing I did or said floods my mind. It could be true and it could be completely fabricated nonsense. "Why did I say that? Why did I make such a stupid mistake? Why won't they talk to me anymore? Oh, yeah, it's because I'm an idiot." And the boulder rolls down the hill again. I spend the next week pushing the boulder back up the hill to get back to a level of acceptable behavior. Perpetual Sisyphus. It's a burden to my family to see me that way and to deal with me. I apologize and they say it's okay but I feel bad for feeling bad which sometimes makes me feel worse. If you're dealing with depression, decide if it's something you can ride out or not. Don't be a statistic. Don't shoulder that burden. Don't ignore it. If you need a happy pill, go talk to a doc that can get you one. "I bet you're waiting for a long sob story of how I was mistreated again. No. I wasn't built that way. I was strong and desperately brave. And I didn't mean to scare you." from the Blue October song Schizophrenia.
The problem with me and depression is that anything can trigger it at any time. I can be listening to The Aquabats, jumping around to some great ska music and my brain says, "Alright buddy, that's quite enough of that." Something like the thought of a stupid thing I did or said floods my mind. It could be true and it could be completely fabricated nonsense. "Why did I say that? Why did I make such a stupid mistake? Why won't they talk to me anymore? Oh, yeah, it's because I'm an idiot." And the boulder rolls down the hill again. I spend the next week pushing the boulder back up the hill to get back to a level of acceptable behavior. Perpetual Sisyphus. It's a burden to my family to see me that way and to deal with me. I apologize and they say it's okay but I feel bad for feeling bad which sometimes makes me feel worse. If you're dealing with depression, decide if it's something you can ride out or not. Don't be a statistic. Don't shoulder that burden. Don't ignore it. If you need a happy pill, go talk to a doc that can get you one. "I bet you're waiting for a long sob story of how I was mistreated again. No. I wasn't built that way. I was strong and desperately brave. And I didn't mean to scare you." from the Blue October song Schizophrenia.