I hate talking to people more than anything in the world. I don't mean when I find someone or a group of people and have a meaningful conversation. I mean idle chit chat. I always cringe when I'm faced with a well meaning person wanting to break the ice. It's good when the conversation goes both ways in mutual exchange of facts and stories. When it's one sided and I have to endure what happened on their favorite television program, which I most assuredly do not watch, I want to poke myself in the leg with a knife just to get away. Another thing that I hate about people and conversations is anytime someone feels the need to embarrass me. I'm a painful introvert. Public humiliation is by far the absolute worst thing you could possibly do to me. Hit me, cut me, punch me, but don't ridicule me. I will pull away from everyone and want to hurt myself. Not the joking kind of "I'll just die" I mean the "I will slash two dozen marks into my forearm so the pain searing in my brain might subside." I'm certainly not advocating cutting yourself, and I've developed coping skills to avert my attention away from sharp objects when I'm upset. I would suggest finding your coping mechanism because we all run into shitty people that make us furious. We don't have to play their game though. Fuck 'em. Take care of you. Be okay.
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